Erotic Author Indigo Sin 04/17 by Away With Words | Blog Talk Radio

Erotic Author Indigo Sin 04/17 by Away With Words | Blog Talk Radio

Love Doesn't...

This isn’t actually a poem. This is a song I wrote for my book The Crash which isn’t out yet but I thought I’d share it with y’all x

Love doesn’t…

Sometimes when you like a person,

It's hard to make it clear.

But baby this girl really loves you,

It's deep inside of here.

She mourns your existence,

And can't think right when your near.

She smiles at you constantly,

But do you know she's there?

Is it that hard to stop and look around?

Who knows baby you might find the one in a crowd.

Give her a chance,

Believe me this girl is the one,

She was sent to be with you - after you were born.

God spent a little more time on her,

Look at her honey can you see your way through?

Look a little harder baby - Her heart mimics yours too.

Chorus...

Love doesn't - grow on trees,

Love is when your down on one knee,

Asking her to marry you,

Begging her for her love in return.,

Telling her you couldn’t even exist,

If her love wasn’t yours to accept,

Make her understand she's the only one,

'cos honey, Sugar, baby love - she's the one.

Second Verse...

She feels you in the wind

She see's you when they don't,

She tastes you in the rain

She wants you when they don’t.

She tells me she’s in love with you

That she wants to hold you tight,

She wants to serenade you, she wants to scream and shout,

Telling the world all about you and the perfection in your smile.

So listen to your heart, baby - it whispers, you'll hear it say...

Chorus...

Alex 2

Alex <3

He’s no different

This is a story about a little boy,

Who has no fears and has a lot of joys.

He melts your heart with one little smile,

If your lucky enough he'll wink with one eye.

He laughs and screams he's a little joker at heart,

He has the cutest face throughout the human race - and he’s just so smart.

He tries his best to crawl,

Gives that cheeky smile with a little drool.

He tries to stand his ground,

And he can get real loud - But he’s so adorable.

He loves his Nursery rhymes,

He listens to all music.

You should see his impersonation of Michael Flatley,

How he loves to River Dance.

He has his favourite movies of all time,

He falls asleep to Call of Duty,

He loves Zombies and raging kids online,

You should see him when I win.

Have you seen the way he sits and plays?

He leans to the side and sometimes sways.

His head sinks down to his knees,

He still laughs at himself – he must get that from me!

He still finds time to blow my mind,

But of course he is after all my miracle child

Alex is his name.

He’s so different yet the same

You wouldn’t even know he was disabled if I hadn’t have shoved it in your face.

Did you see his hearing aids?

No!

Shit! He’s pulled them out!

Mum, you look this way, I’ll look that,

I’m sure we’ll seek them out.

His disability is invisible to the everyday eye,

But if you look closely you'll see he's not just disabled - he’s a little boy.

He lives and he breathes just like you,

So why do people treat him like he's such a tool.

Yes, he has a label I know this to be true,

But surely being different is better than there being you.

He's one of a kind to me,

He's special can you see?

He treats everyone the same,

So why don't you smile at him as he passes you,

So we’ll keep on trucking with our awesome lives,

Because we don’t give a crap what you think – Yes, he does have a boggle eye!

Mama ...

Mama...

I'm sorry mama I let you down,

Letting him walk all over me was a job well done.

But it's over now and he's not around no more,

Playing his crap same old scenarios.

I feel so stupid that I let this happen,

Locked in a cage by a cat that traps 'em.

I didn’t mean it When I said I didn't need you so,

I didn't mean it Mama can I just come home?

Please...

Now he's gone mama...

He’s left me here all alone,

I should be at home with you,

Where I’m safe from harm

Because he's gone mama...

He’s found someone else,

Making her life hell,

I saw him tearing at her dress.

He’s really gone mama...

I feel so stupid inside,

He said he'd love me for all time,

If I’d gave him my love,

And now he’s gone mama...

And as soon as I gave it up,

He packed all his things up,

And left me here mama...

Did I do something wrong?

At this point I must be wrong,

Because he's gone mama...

Far away from here,

Taking little girls and their virginities away.

He's really gone mama...

I’m laughing at his life,

Because he thinks it's all right,

But does he know that I’m carrying his child?

(Does he care?)

And now he's gone mama...

He was selfish and bitter,

Looking at me as if I were litter,

He treated me like crap,

But I admit it wasn't just that,

We had some good times,

They weren’t all tarnished by his lies.

And he's still gone mama...

I’m sorry I should have listened to you,

It wasn't big of me to - just walk away from you,

(I shouldn't have run away from you).

He’s gone and I’m alone mama...

Holding my belly where a child now lies,

Nowhere to turn too but to my own cries,

How big do I look now?

I’m finally home, mama...  

You’re here helping me,

In my time of need,

I've learned this lesson well,

And only time will tell you that it’s over.

With him still gone mama...

Time has past with joy,

And my life has really changed,

I am a mama now! ...

You made my life so much easier,

I see life so clearer,

This little child in my arms,

Gave me a second chance to deliver,

To make things right for me and her.

Now my problems have faded into vapour.

I’m glad he’s gone, mama...

We’re in a great place now,

He knows nothing of his child,

It’s been two years this May,

It’s really over.

I saw an old friend today,

She seems happy yet weird about Jenny.

But I look forward,

I guess it is weird now,

To see me as a Mama somehow,

But it’s amazing to be,

This person I didn’t know I could be.

Oh, my god! He's back mama...  

Help me, please!

He's pushing his way in,

He's angry, so livid, he's broken down the door,

And made his way in.

He's in the house, mama...

I don't know what for,

He's screaming all obscenities,

And scaring our Daughter.

He’s got a gun, mama...

I think he's lost his mind,

He’s gone crazy this time,

His eyes are blood shot and cross,

He's angry at me because - I didn't tell him about Jenny!

Why doesn’t he just go away,

Worry about someone else this is my baby.

Jenny is mine!

To him she should never have been.

Mama, he’s crazy!

Quick, hurry! I’m afraid,

He’s putting his hands around my neck,

I fear for my life,

He's throwing things around,

Screaming stupid nothings about,

Jenny’s screaming!

He's scaring her as well,

What happens if I can’t calm her,

Will he hurt her too?

Mama, he's fucking crazy!

Oh, my god he's put me down,

I can't get up to protect her now,

I told you he was crazy.

What have I done.

Jenny? Jenny!

Did he shoot me and run?

Where did all this blood come from?

He’s really crazy.

Mama, He’s gone...

Where’s my baby girl?

She’s only two years old,

She’s so frightened and with someone she doesn’t even know,

What happens to her now?

Where has he taken her,

Someone please help!

Someone help her.

He's really gone, mama...

JENNY!

He's really taken my child,

She's not here she's gone.

I'm getting really sleepy,

I can hardly hold on.

Mama...He’s ...

I can hear noises but I can't make them out,

I think it's my Mama,

Mama Jenny’s gone he took her and it’s all my fault,

Oh, My God I can hardly speak,

Mama, find her and bring her back to me.

Mama's Gone now...

I have time to reflect,

I made a big mistake and I’m paying for that fact,

I hope Jenny knows that I love her too,

I hope she forgives me one day for her father as well,

I never wanted to end things this way,

If I don't make it back,

I ... I hope...Jenny is... is sa...fe... ...

Alex

This poem was inspired by my beautiful son who would have been ten-year-old. He had Quadriplegia Cerebral Palsy & Myoclonic Epilepsy. Brain Damaged at Birth by Dorset NHS. He passed away on Friday 19th July 2013. Nine days before his 8th birthday. 

As you can probable tell I was very angry back then lol That goes without saying like. Even now today... 10 years on I'm still very angry and hurt by all of it. This is just how I felt at the time. Alex was 4-years-old when I wrote this...

 

Alex <3

Torn

 From the day that you were born, 

And the day that you were torn, 

oh, the forces of my anger, 

To those people!

But they only made us stronger. 

They took your life away from you, 

They starved me of the child you could have been, 

And now we are torn. 

I've spent my life just as torn as when you were born,

Stuck in this notion and forever torn. 

I'm torn from my soul, my body, and my mind, 

But you make me whole again,

You're truly one of a kind.

Even though you're still here, I can't forgive them for what they've done to you. 

They took away your chances in life, 

And still have the cheek to offer me advice. 

With the love in my heart, 

And the blood that flows through my veins, 

I'll keep you protected, 

This will never happen again. 

Torn you are, 

You'll never be the same again. 

You'll never walk, never Crawl, never speak your own name. 

But I'll love you still, 

I speak enough for us both of us! 

Torn or not your still my little boy, 

My reason for living, 

My pride and Joy. 

I don't car what you can't do, 

I don't stress about if you ever do, 

I just want you to be happy, 

And live a long life ... like forever, my boy. 

Torn or not we're still one you and I, 

Torn is nothing when I have you to complete the other half. 

So what if we're torn, 

You and I, 

Torn together and together we are.